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March 11, 2008 - Tuesday

I miss you all so much!!!

I have to begin with - I DO REALLY MISS CHATTING WITH YOU ALL!!!!

I have just a moment so I thought I would jump on make a quick post.

I'm actually using the computer at the library because I have been so busy with my new job that I have kind of allowed my personal life to slide. Such as calling around and figuring out which internet provider I want........ I found out that in the area (not quite rural) that I live in there are not many choices - two to be exact so now I have a home phone number but no phone because I left all of those at the old house - I didn't have a phone line hooked up there so why would I need phones - Grrr.

Anyway - thus the reason I haven't logged on - no internet service - it does get hooked up tomorrow and I think that Thursday evening I will have time to mess around with it. So who knows, by this weekend I can get around to returning some e-mails

I go to court in the morning for the divorce - thus the reason why I'm at the library for some last minute downloading of some accounts and crossing my ts and dotting the i (s) - I'm feeling pretty good about it so you all wish me luck that my attorneys (yep 2 attorneys) can either force a sell on the house or force him to buy me out............. can anyone smell the freedom - I can almost feel it.

By the way you all - he left his girlfriend on Sunday and moved back into the house - I almost feel bad for her,..,.,., let me think a moment.,.,.,., nay I guess I don't. I did warn her that he had tried to come back to me a couple of times in the beginning - oh well we all live and learn.

Ok so I've been rambling and I should get my butt out of this chair and go home and do one final review.

Talk to you all soon.

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February 15, 2008 - Friday

The Move

Hi all.

I moved last Saturday - OMG what a pain in the butt. Anybody who has moved recently knows what I'm talking about - it's hard work. First the packing and then the big move day - exhausting. I hadn't moved for five years so I had forgotten how much goes into it - again OMG. Thus the reason why a person should not move more than say every three to five years - it gives the mind some time to forget what a pain in the ass it is.

I'm almost unpacked. I have stuff all over the kitchen however because no matter how creative I get I just can not get everything into those cabinets so I'm going to have to repack some stuff and put it into storage. Things I can obviously live without but I'm going to be pissed when I want it - such as martini glasses - no where to put them but yes I do like a martini every once in awhile and yes I like my drinks in the proper glass - but as one of my very close guy friends said: welcome to the normal world chickie :-) So I'll drink wine instead :-)

I had to go down town earlier today to get finger printed for my new job. The finger printing - very cool new machines that they have. The drive - what a pain in bootie. Anyone who knows the St. Louis area knows that a major highway (40) is closed for the next million years (not really but I think three is more accurate) so you have to drive all the way around the darn city to get to the city - Oh Grrr and then I missed the correct exit and if you know St. Louis then you know that can take you through some pretty shady neighborhood - YICKS!! But obviously I made it :-)

The warranty on my car expired on 12/31/08 - Yep you guessed it's in the shop with the entire engine being disassembled - Not kidding - I so wished I was. They can't give me an estimate of $ only that they think that it's going to be anywhere from $2,000 to $3,000 which really sucks but more so than that is the fact that the engine has been dissected and will it be put back together correctly - So I soon as I get it back I'm probably going to sell it, which really sucks because I love love love my car and I will have it paid off in October - wouldn't life be just great without a huge car payment - it would be but I don't think that's reality.

Let's see what else........Oh I don't have my computer unpacked at home yet because my desk is still at my old office (that's where I'm at right now) and I won't be able to get it delivered to the apartment until next weekend. I might try tapping into someones wireless connection with my laptop this weekend if I have a moment. I've yet to just sit and relax in my new place - I must have it completely unpacked and put away before Monday afternoon - it's a must or else I'll feel........... out of sorts let's say.

Well have a great weekend!! I miss having the time to chat with ya all.

Take care,

Lillie

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February 6, 2008 - Wednesday

Moving Like A Crazed Woman

OMG does everything have to move so fast and all at once?!!??!!!

In my last blog I told you all that I was interviewing with a bank.............well I excepted the offer and I am officially moving companies. I found out today that everything is finalized except for some minor paperwork things and filings. Such as a U5 filing and signing contracts.

I wish that this could have come together yesterday because I had to tell an out and out lie to the new "boss" at my soon to be old company. He asked if I had time to meet with him - Oh here we go - not that I wanted to because I have one foot out the door so to speak and I knew what the conversation was going to consist of. He is a really nice person so that makes the lie even worse. Anyway he said that the team and the firm really needs me and asked if he can count on me.....are you staying with "us" - The lie - "Yes I am" It really couldn't be helped - there is no way I would put myself in a position that could lead to temporary "unemployment" so to speak. Anyway, I'm going to resign one day next week. I have way too much packing to do to even deal with the "old office" stuff.

Speaking of packing - I must get back to it in a moment - packing really really SUCKS!! Also, I'm going to out of a home for a week or so. I was planning on moving into an apartment this Saturday that is withing 5 minutes of my new office, but yesterday I get a call from the complex manager saying that she messed up and the apartment is on the third floor - WTF!!! I don't want to live on the third floor - fine when will another one be ready - the carpeting goes in on 2/12/08 and they can get it inspected on 2/13/08 and I can have it on 2/14/08. I'm going to Texas that day and not coming back until 2/17/08.

So I had to get creative here. I'm having a POD delivered this Friday - we will put everything in there and they will store it until I want it delivered and I move in which will be 2/18/08 and I start the new job 2/19/08. JEEZ can I possibly fit more in??? Nothing like finalizing a move one day and starting a new job the next - I haven't done it before so if I survive I'll tell you all about it.

So where am I going to stay in between those dates. My best friend - Holly - has agreed that I shouldn't be homeless So I will be staying at her house for almost two weeks.

It is very likely that I will not be on here much and I see that I have some e-mails but I just don't have the time right now to check them - sorry. Miss ya all.

Isn't 2008 turning out to be GREAT!!!!

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January 31, 2008 - Thursday

Car trouble and idiots!!

Hi you all. It always amazes me how little people know their business (sorta of). It also amazes me how much I learn that I really really had no desire to learn.

I went to the "country" or maybe I should say "hicksville" on Tuesday afternoon. A close friend of my mother's died and I went to the funeral to be supportive of my mom. I hadn't been down south in a while so my sister - Rose and I went out and met up with some folks for drinks. Rose drove my car to Lori's - long time friend. Rose left my lights on so my battery was dead. Ok it happens. I called roadside assistance yesterday morning and being in a small town - OMG - after a three hour wait - some guy shows up in a small pick up truck. Too bad he didn't know anything about my car and how to jump it and was asking me where my battery is - how the hell am I supposed to know. So I had to call the dealership and after taking my backseat out of my car and taking my trunk apart we found the battery. Now I was nice to this guy from "A1 Muffler" with his pickem up truck but he was an ass to me - WTF. When my car wouldn't turn over right away he unhooked the cables - I was on the phone with the dealership and they said that he would need to leave the cables on for about 10 to 15 minutes. Nope he didn't have the time - I've waited for you for three hours in the cold and you can't do your job and wait for the battery to get a bit of a charge.......... Nope and he left.

So I was cold and exhausted so Rose took me back to her house and I called tow truck to tow my car back to St. Louis this morning. He jumped the car right away and saved me some money and I just got home - thank goodness because it's snowing - Grrr.

What did I learn? Cancel that roadside assistance. My car insurance covers towing (I found that out this morning). I now know where my battery is - OMG the electronic stuff that's in that compartment is down right scary!! My sunroof will not close unless the car is running. The car can be jumped from under the hood - there's positive connection and just hook up the negative to the frame of the car. The car's electronics do not like me at the moment :-) And I don't care for riding in a tow truck.

If everything works out I will be starting a new job with a large bank on February 18, 2003. I have a meeting tomorrow with one of the bank managers and I have a meeting on Monday with another. I'm pretty excited because it's a perfect fit for me.

If I don't chat with you before hand - YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!

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January 14, 2008 - Monday

My thoughts for 2008 and 2007 finally coming to an end

Hellllloooo all. It's been awhile since I've posted a blog. In general what does one say in their blog? One would probably comment of one's feelings and thoughts and happenings so here we go - hold on to the rails and keep arms, hands, head, legs, and feet inside the car - I tend to ramble so the ride may get bumpy.

For all those that know me - you all know that 2007 was not my best year ever. In reality it is right there on the top of the list for one of the worst. Yippeee it's over.   I broke my arm and dislocated my shoulder at the end of July 07. I got my very first helicopter ride to the hospital. I obvisously don't remember much of it. I had to have surgery to repair the break. I was off work for about eight weeks and then when I returned I wasn't really in the game so to speak - Grrr. Through hours and hours of very painful physical therapy I have regained most of the functionality of my arm back - now comes the time to regain the strength or as some of you would say - Guns :-)

Now some thoughts on 2008 - which I intend to be my best year ever or at the very least it will be at the top of the list for one of the best

Two weeks into the new year and I'm likin it!! I'm thinking of switching companies. I've been with this company for almost nine years and I do love what I do and the company is an awesome company. Problem - I've had six new "bosses" or should we say "person in charge". I've seen a lot, endured a lot, went through the company's demutualization and the IPO and a major merger (take over in reality), and changes that would make one's head spin. Through all of this I have been a trooper - I really have. I've had the mentality that it really doesn't effect me or the way I do business. The reality is - it does and it has. But again, I'm a team player and a survivor so I thought all was well and is well.... One of my very dear and close friends that is in the same industry but different company recently said: "It's time for you move on and up" Hmmm that sounds like more changes to me and to be quite honest - I've had my fill with changes - can't we just take a breather for say a month So to make a long story possibly longer (get those hands back in the car!!!) I'm interviewing with a bank that needs a financial consultant for three of their banks. Now either the VP was saying everything he thought I wanted to hear or it is just PERFECT!! I'm hoping the later. I've only just begun to get to know them and I have another round of meetings this week - hopefully anyway - what do I mean by hopefully - I mean the next meeting will be discussing $$$ and those have to be there or else there isn't a need for further meetings. I'm pretty JAZZED about this so you all keep your fingers crossed that this will be a good fit. Another problem - which I don't see as a problem but more of another huge change. The banks are about an hour from my house but very very very close to my best friends house. So I will be moving if I decide to change companies. Which means I move out of the house and my ex moves in. This will make his year. Now there's another ant that's biting my rear end - a year and a half on the market and the house still hasn't sold. I'm hoping beyond hope that the gentleman that went through this morning will make any reasonable offer.   I am so ready to move on. I would love to live in a 2-bedroom apartment with some tennis courts and a pool - and oh please have a volleyball court . I practically spend every Sunday cleaning the monster and I also pay someone to come in every other week to vacuum and dust. Enough already!!

Today was my first official day back to my gym. I took the 5:30 am spin class and then did my "arm exercises" and got some abs in there as well. Needless to say I spent a lot of time talking to folks. My gym is the greatest. It's a great gym but what makes it so great is the people - I realized just this morning how much I missed all the folks that I work out with. So I'm extremely sleepy today and I will be for a couple of weeks until I get used to getting up at 4:30 am again - Grrr Again the broken arm threw me way off of my normal life - but I'm back in the game. That's another thing I will be giving up if I move is my wonderful gym - OH DOUBLE GRRR - did I mention that I'm ready for some changes - it's all good.

Unfortunately I won't be playing on here as often as I was. Being stuck at home with a bad boo boo made for a lot of free time which I won't have anymore - barring of course no more boo boos. Another comment on that - I've always been pretty much fearless: Skiing - busting down the back side of a mountain as fast as I can possibly go - what a rush - FABULOUS!!! I still remember the superman face plant I did when I hit a bump that I didn't see. Jumping and diving from the highest cliffs, bungee jumping, rope swings, you name it - I love it all!! And through it all I have only had one major injury so I feel myself extremely fortunate. Last week I was a bit pissy when I said good bye to my friends that were leaving to go skiing in Colorado - I of course couldn't go because of my arm isn't ready yet. We're talking about a trip at the end of March - I'm so hoping that I'll be ready and up for it!! I still want to go sky diving - yes I do and I will - not this year but I think the summer of 2009 would be just perfect!!! And I would just love to climb a mountain - rock climbing included!!

I am seeing someone that I actually have a deep interest in. A mutual friend introduced us.   It's very interesting how much stuff we have in common. More on that later if becomes something more, but for now I'll just leave it as: I'm interested

Ok take a deep breath and you may now release the hand rails because I think I'm done

Have a WONDERFUL YEAR you all!!!

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December 4, 2007 - Tuesday

My favorite email joke of all time

Not a lot going on in St. Louis these days. I've been working a lot lately - thus the reason I haven't been able to come out to play

I hope you all have a great week!!

INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER

Notes from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from Boston:

"Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer
during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event:"

Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

JUDGE ONE:
A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO:
Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

FRANK:
Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili

JUDGE ONE:
Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO:
Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK:
Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

JUDGE ONE:
Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO:
A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.

FRANK:
Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my
backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.

Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic

JUDGE ONE:
Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO:
Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

FRANK:
I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT,
just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover

JUDGE ONE:
Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

JUDGE TWO:
Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK:
My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!

Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

JUDGE ONE:
Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO:
The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

FRANK:
My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric inferno flames. I shit myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally; she must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

JUDGE ONE:
A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO:
Ho Hum tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

FRANK:
You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lavalike shit to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful...

I hope you all had a great laugh - HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!

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November 27, 2007 - Tuesday

Anger Management :- )

Hi you all.

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends and I hope that you all did as well.

Not a lot going on these days. I've been having a huge amount of issues with my cell phone and getting a new one and losing my Blue Tooth - but you all don't want to hear about that drama - besides I've told a couple of you all about it so why would you want to read it again

So I thought I would post one of my all time favorite jokes. For those of you who know me - then you probably know that I'm on the phone a good part of the day so if I'm having a bad day I pull this little baby up and it gives me a good giggle and squeak. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do and if you've read it before then read it again darn it!!

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin.   Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number - I think that we can all admit that we've done this before.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.  Oh yes I've done this - unfortunately for my asshole it was from pay phones between the hours of 1 am to 4 am - Not kidding - and oh it was so worth every quarter   When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. I let my asshole off the hook after about three or four times - I think I was starting to freak him out.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW (not all BMW drivers cut people off ) cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a  "For Sale" sign in his car window so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1. "Hello."
"You're an asshole!" But I didn't hang up.
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don.   And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th Street.

There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW, I feel better.

Anger Management...Bringing people together to advance their lives.

I don't care who you are - that's FUNNY!!

Moral of the story - well there's two actually.

1.) Be nice to people because you never know if it's me and I will damn sure drunk dial your ass from a pay phone in the wee hours of the morning to wake your happy ass up!!

2.) If you are stupid enough to post your phone number and then be an asshole (especially if it's to me) then you more than deserve a very early morning wake up call!!!

Have a GREAT WEEK you all!!

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November 5, 2007 - Monday

Bullshit Bingo

Hi all - sorry I haven't posted a blog lately but not a lot has been happening.

I have been in an annual compliance meeting this morning that followed with another meeting "the future of our company". So I thought that I would share with you a little game that is called Bullshit Bingo. The purpose of the game is to help you to remain focused in a meeting and keep your mind from drifting. It really works - Enjoy!

And here are the rules:

B I N G O
synergy strategic fit core competencies best practice result-driven
bottom line revisit take that off line mindset empower
24/7 out of the loop benchmark value-added knowledge base
proactive win-win think outside the box fast track at the end of the day
touch base client focus(ed) ballpark game plan leverage

Before every meeting print yourself a copy of the above chart. Anytime you hear a word or phrase that is printed in any given box you simply highlight that word/phrase. When you have a full line of words highlighted - this can be across, diagonal, or up and down - you stand up and yell "BULLSHIT"!!!! The prizes that you receive will be kept as surprise until you win. The prizes could be anything from being released from the meeting early to drawing un-employment which will of course keep you out of any future meetings.

Believe it or not I won three times this morning. I of course did not stand up and yell my victory to all present . I just rewarded myself with another cup of coffee and went on to play again

I hope you all have a great week ahead of you.

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September 18, 2007 - Tuesday

Sadly Summer is coming to an end :-(

Well summer time is coming to a close here in Missouri and it's starting to cool off which sucks because I just love summer time. I very much dislike cold and snow unless I'm snow skiing of course. Which this year will be without the skiing because of my arm.

Mentioning my arm - here's the update. I had a doctor's appointment this morning and I don't have to wear the arm sling anymore and the bone is all healed up - Yipppeeee. I just have several months of physical therapy ahead of me - GRRRR - oh damn I'm going to go ahead and say it - Double GRRRR GRRRR.

My house still hasn't sold but there is potential buyer that has some interest so hopefully that comes to fruition.

My divorce - the court dates have been set and that is progressing.

Work - well I've been out so much because of my arm that now I feel like I'm buried but my head is back in the game so that should be fine.

That's about it so you all have a fantastic week!!!!

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September 9, 2007 - Sunday

Labor Day weekend and healing up

It's been four weeks since my surgery and I'm slowly healing - Grrrr. I don't know which I'm more sick of - the drugs that make me a bit loopy or pain. The pain is getting better slowly - of course not fast enough for me - I like things to go at a faster pace. I, of course am not running at my norm, which is normally all out - oh well. I've been very cranky as well - I'm not my normal people person self.

Labor Day weekend was good and exhausting at the same time. CWC came from California for six days. Lot's of running - some unexpected running even :-) We went to the Arch and the St. Louis Riverfront (Mississippi River). The St. Charles Riverfront (Missouri River) and I forgot to go to the Meramec River - which is 2 miles from my house - oops.

My sister Rose came up on Friday night and we all had a blast in the hot tub and pool.

Saturday night we all went to a local sports bar and had alot of laughs.

Sunday we went to my girl friend's house for a back yard get together - again much fun - friends are great - especially really good ones!

We went a Cardinals baseball game on Monday (Labor Day) in which the Pirates proceeded to beat the crap out of our Cardinals. I stopped watching at the sixth inning - 11 to 0 - I couldn't take anymore of the abuse and so my attitude became "OK were is my beer because I've had enough of this game!!"

Other than that it's pretty much back to normal everyday work thing OH YIPPEE.

I hope you all have a wonderful week and I look forward to chatting with you all.

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