somehow somehow someway

somehow somehow someway

When faced with a problem, therefore, you will be forced to use judgments that could affect many. Many issues then come into play and emotion can play either a positive role or one that is less than desirable. Complexity enters in and things like trust are thrown before you as an added consideration requiring careful thought and discipline. Trust is always something that should be earned and needs constant work in order to maintain. It should never be a given. It should never be one sided. It has its own complexities that need to be achieved between both parties. Trust should be hard to earn but not hard to maintain. Having stated the obvious it should come as no surprise that it can also be the fastest thing to lose. Be careful when life places obstacles before you. Think carefully before you act. Think of the ripples you may be responsible for when trying to hurdle these barriers and if feelings get hurt along the way, look in the mirror and hopefully say "I am comfortable as I can be with my decisions. I have not broken any trusts and can say that I have done my best to minimized the ripples."

I consider myself an honest man, a good man. Can that be possible if my heart is willingly looking for the solace of another? Is there ever any justification where such a scenario could capture my emotion and lead me down an opposing path? Am I to be ultimately judged anything but decent because I have lost control of what honor has taught me? I have to tell myself that I am powerless and fearless in the face of such conventional wisdom. I am led down the path on my own accord or at least by being true to my heart. Can that ever be wrong? Everybody wishes love could remain at home at least those that subscribe to honest and decency. Everybody, unfortunately, does not always get what they wish for when the bucket of their heart becomes less than full. Wouldn't it be less than honorable to deny love than to let it flow on its own accord? As I examine my bucket I realize it is not a conscious effort to keep it full but more of an uncontrollable instinct for survival. I am not plagued by demons after all in the unconscious pursuit to keep my bucket full. I know I will be judged and have no apologies to offer. I am powerless yet curious to know if I have any true understanding of how love finds its way into our bucket.

What you say

I have no knowledge of who you are yet you still knock quietly everyday by my stoop. I am always too late to the door to get even a fleeting visual yet you always leave footprints behind as evidence that you have been by. Why is it that you never show your face or leave a message behind to sooth my curiosity? Is this an intentional torment used to seduce my inner confusion or are you afraid that ultimately I will open the door unexpectedly and expose something in you? I welcome you at my door always just the same.

Expose. Expose me? Sorry, but it is way too late for that now. I think I have been real, but compared to what? My mind has traveled down to strawberry fields and kissed Lucy in the sky. My mind ran with wild horses and sailed through ultimate swells as the wind cries unfamiliar names before returning me to rest by a trickling stream with its weathered rolling stones. I have explored dreams and fantasies which leave me drained as I continue down the path for something I am not allowed to enter my life yet irresistibly lure me forward. I have worn patriotism and spiritually on my sleeve as my walk through life greet wisdom and absolution yet often ends up at a crossroad. I have sung songs as I reach for the meaning of this life to somehow get closer to the divine spirit but usually find I am met by a wall of endless questions. Exposed. Exposed for all to see.

So, who are you? What do you feel as you look into the world of words at my door? Are you reduced to tears or filled with anger? Are you able to walk the journey with me with love in your heart as there is a common thread or are we cut from such a different fabric that it makes you indifferent? Are you able to feel emotion or does it trap you like a hostage and reduce the freedom of your own expression? Will you allow yourself a moment to participate in the escape or does your own character remain too grounded to allow the words be your guide? As you stop by my stoop and peek through the door of my world take a moment to let the words invoke emotion that is true in it’s uniqueness to you. Take some time for yourself to examine that emotion and if you have time share it with the next reader by posting a comment. Letting your feelings have voice can have far greater significance than you know. Yes. What you say.