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Gary
 
Last Updated: May 24, 2008
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User Info
 
Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 42
Sign: Libra
City: Boca Raton
State: FLORIDA
Country: United States
Signup Date: 11-01-06
 
 
Kudos Given:
 
C r a i g  (2) 
Whats your story Lori  (2) 
Cee, Southern Lady of Color  (2) 
Kent A  (2) 
ClipClip (2) 
DL  (2) 
 

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June 8, 2007 - Friday
So you want to read my Blog?
Category:  VOIS
Hear we go! Folks it's a well known fact that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world known as “The Pentaverat” these people run everything in the world, including all the Sports, Newspapers and all media.  They meet tri annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado known as...The Meadows. So who's in this Pentaverat? The Queen, the Vatican, the Getty's, the Rothschild's and Colonel Sanders.  That’s before he went tits up.  Ohhh I hated the colonel with his wee beady eyes and that smug rum soaked face.  Ooooh your going to buy my chicken...Oooooh.  You may ask how I can hate The Colonel. "Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave for it nightly!!  Since the death of Colonel Sanders take my tri annual trip over to “The Meadows” and take the Colonel's place at this important meeting. It took decades for the Pentaverat to find the right replacement.  I am Here. I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling small walls and crushing ice with my powerful incisors and molars.  I translate ethnic slurs for all refugees, I write award-winning operas as well as Sci-Fi thrillers, I can manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for days in a row. I cook thirty minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in woodwork, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.  Using only a plow and a large glass of water, I once single-handily defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious red ants (aka Fire Ants).  I play Bluegrass cello as well as Dixieland tuba.  I was courted by the Montreal Expo’s and the Houston Oilers.  I am the subject of numerous documentaries, as well as scientific experiments involving antimatter and time travel. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard out of old AAA batteries. I enjoy urban hang gliding during rush hour traffic.  On Saturdays mornings I feed the poor with food I have grown organically through a hydroponics lab I trademarked after NASA lost their budget and could not pay me.   I repair electrical appliances free of charge, and specialize in all nanotechnologies, bionics as well as authentic Swiss clock design.  My monochrome floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.  I help Betty Ford sober up.  I told Nancy Reagan to “just say no”.  I was the first person to ask “Where’s the Beef”, and told aggravated dejected athletes to “just do it. Children and dogs trust me, I can swim with pods of wild dolphins as well as hold my breath as long as most North American amphibians.  I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read War and Peace. Paradise Lost, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish my dining room that evening using Pledge with real lemon scent.  I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. (Except the soy extract products) I have performed several covert operations with the NSA, CIA, IRS, as well as MI6 (When the Queen asked me).  I sleep once a week and when I do sleep, I sleep standing up with one of my eyes open. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of foul mouthed terrorists who had seized a small Amish bakery on a bet.  The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, weave, dodge and frolic.  My bills are all paid in advance.  On Sundays to let off steam I participated in full contact origami, but had to stop due to a clause on my Key Man insurance policy. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down.  I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a leftovers and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clam’s mollusks’, and crustaceans.  I am immune to most Allergies, Spores, Molds, and Fungi’s.  I have won bullfights in San Juan (without ever harming an animal), I was the first to cliff diving competitively in Zambia, Zimbabwe, and Malawi.  I organized peaceful spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Lady Hamlet as a young Imperial Knight.  I have performed non evasive open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis both dead, and alive.  I hope you have figured out that some of this is for entertainment only.  Welcome to Vois.com!  I am here to help.
Gary

VOIS.com Co-Founder.
4:17 PM | 15 Comments |  12 Kudos |  Add Comment  | Report Abuse
 
 

Blog Comments
Displaying Results 1 To 15
1

C r a i g wrote on Friday, June 08, 2007 at 04:31 PM

G!
This is absolutely one of the best things I have read in a long time!  Is this why you wouldn't answer my intercoms today?  If it is, I am not angry....it was worth not being spoken to and ignored!

Lapp

[Reply To This]

1.1

Gary wrote on Friday, June 08, 2007 at 11:33 PM

Did you ever think I could not hear you.  Well I did hear you, you were right I was ignoring you.  I am glad your not angry.  Thanks.

[Reply To This]

2

ClipClip wrote on Friday, June 08, 2007 at 04:34 PM

ooooops I meant to put my comment here.....not below sorry! Innocent

[Reply To This]

3

Cee, Southern Lady of Color wrote on Friday, June 08, 2007 at 05:14 PM

I enjoy reading anybodies blog because I am a blogger. It would really do my heart good to find others on this network. Now to get to you and yours. First of all; you are some kind of special personal. And I do mean that in a, (I build bridges out of AAA batteries)kind of way.Winkhmm! Along with all that I see going on here on VOIS, your blog shows that you are a very deep thinker. That is a very good thing. Wish you could think some real readers my way.Kiss Southern Friendship from Alabama

[Reply To This]

3.1

Gary wrote on Friday, June 08, 2007 at 05:21 PM

The people are coming.  Remember we are still brand new here.  Thanks for all of your imput and your kind words.

Gary

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4

Mikelandia wrote on Friday, June 08, 2007 at 05:23 PM

at first I thought blogging was something your mother caught you doing to a Macy's bra add.  Now I get it.

[Reply To This]

4.1

Gary wrote on Friday, June 08, 2007 at 11:31 PM

What are you doing to that dog?

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5

Whats your story Lori wrote on Friday, June 08, 2007 at 10:49 PM

You are a problem child!  Anyone who made that up is twice as interesting as the guy who actually did those things.  I will be passing this one around to the girls over cocktails this weekend.  Too bad, I read your taken.  Either your wife is very lucky or very unlucky!  I still do not know what was my favorite part, but I am leaning toward the lemon fresh Pledge with Lemon.  Have a great weekend sicko.  KissKissKiss

[Reply To This]

5.1

Gary wrote on Friday, June 08, 2007 at 11:30 PM

Was that an insult?  Sicko?  Very unlucky?  Maybe I should go see that therapist from the Soprano's.  She just got an opening I am told. 

Sicko?

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6

DL wrote on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 at 02:40 PM

   First blog I ever read. People have a lot to live up to to get a rise out of me after this..

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6.1

Gary wrote on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 at 05:12 PM

Thanks for the reply DL.  I hope every blog you read gives you a rise.  lol.

Gary

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7

Kent A wrote on Wednesday, March 26, 2008 at 12:05 AM

Dragonfly needs to get her hands on this one and post it as an Earthshaker!! 

[Reply To This]

7.1

Gary wrote on Friday, March 28, 2008 at 04:19 PM

This is an oldie.  I was in rare form for this one.  Thanks Ken.  Glad you liked it.

G

[Reply To This]

7.2

almuneefy wrote on Friday, April 25, 2008 at 12:11 PM

hi gary i want to speack with U about sex

[Reply To This]

7.3

Gary wrote on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 at 02:17 PM

Ken,

I originaly made this on another social network and have seen it ripped off on many sites including this one.  I am glad you like it and I think Dragonfly has moved on.  Thanks for you comment and I am glad you liked it.

[Reply To This]

Displaying Results 1 To 15
 
   
 
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