Vois - One liners & other great jokes

Ajax wrote on Friday, January 04, 2008 at 08:13 PM

I just read an article on the dangers of drinking....

Scared the shit out of me!

So that's it!

After today, no more reading.

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Ajax wrote on Friday, January 04, 2008 at 08:15 PM

The Maid asked for a pay raise.
The Madam was very upset about this and asked: Now Maria, why do you want an
increase?"
Maria: "Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want a pay increase.
The first is that I iron better than you."
Madam: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: "The Master said so."
Madam: "Oh."
Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Madam: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than I?"
Maria: "The Master did."
Madam: "Oh."
Maria: "My third reason is that I am a better lover than you."
Madam (very upset now): "Did the Master say so as well?"
Maria: "No Madam, the gardener did." SHE GOT THE PAY RAISE

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Ajax wrote on Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 09:36 PM

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, 'Do you know me?'

To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching While your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'

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Ajax wrote on Saturday, January 26, 2008 at 09:15 PM

The Polite way to Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to
teach good manners, asked her students the
following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner
with a nice young lady,how would you tell her
that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying, "That would
be rude and impolite.

What about you Sherman, how would you say
it?"

Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to
go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to
say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain
for once and show us your good manners?"

"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused
for a moment? I have to shake hands with a
very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to
introduce you to after dinner."

The teacher fainted

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4.1

lorrainne21 wrote on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 at 06:10 AM

hahhahahha.... very funny

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Ajax wrote on Friday, September 26, 2008 at 12:08 AM

Pissing off Grandpa

A five-year-old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front

porch together, when grandpa pulled a beer out of the cooler. The little boy asked, 'Grandpa, can I have a beer?'
Grandpa replied, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'
The little boy answered, 'No Grandpa, it's just a little pecker!' Grandpa said, 'Then you're not man enough to have a beer..'

A little later Grandpa lit up a cigar. The little boy asked,
'Grandpa, can I have a cigar?'
Once again, Grandpa asked, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?' The little boy answered 'no,' again.
Grandpa said, 'Then you're not man enough to have a cigar.'

A little later, the boy came out of the house with some cookies and
milk. Grandpa asked, 'Can I have a cookie?'
The boy asked, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'
Grandpa replied, 'Hell yeah, my pecker can touch my ass!'

The boy replied, 'Then go screw yourself! Grandma made these for me.'

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One liners & other great jokes

One liners & other great jokes

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